We are taught and told that our twenties are a time in our life where all the puzzle pieces should fit into place. We go to college, we graduate college, we get that amazing first-time job, meet and marry Mr./Mrs. right, and then have just about 2.5 kids and a house before the big 3-0 rolls around. Oh, and did I forget to mention we did all the above while looking fabulously stylish, fit as a whistle, driving the newest model car available and making a down payment on our dream home? Good, didn’t want to leave that out.
The storybook ending to our twenties, however, does not always end the same way for everyone. And living in a society that encourages us to publicly publish the highlighted reel of our life, makes it easy to start comparing. We have Facebook, Instagram, Tumbler, Twitter, Blogs, magazines, TV, movies, etc., as loud, constantly ringing doorbells reminding us, “Hey, is anyone home? Your life is not as good as X, so you obviously are doing your twenties all wrong. Fail.”
Somewhere between twenty and twenty-nine, we were supposed to have gotten it all together. Obviously. Dreams were supposed to come true, and things were supposed to happen. And while we were waiting on those “things” to happen, we learned how to compare and we accidentally learned how to let the beauty of life slip by as we dreamed of the future or reminisced about the past.
When did this cycle begin? Who told you that you were supposed to have it all figured out? And that you need to follow the path of everyone else before you? Or that at 25 if your life is not completely figured out you will probably never succeed in anything ever again? Bring on the quarter-life crisis.
You see, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Comparison begins to control our thoughts and shift our thinking from believing we are enough, to believing we are not enough. We are each blessed with different stories, different gifts, and different talents. When we begin to open our hands and hearts to explore what our own unique gifts are, we are able to discover our personal purpose and find contentment in who we were created to be.
We are also able to find gratitude and joy within; as we focus on using the gifts we have, instead of wishing for the gifts of another. I know, you are probably thinking, “well why can’t I be more like so and so and have their gifts, their talents, their purpose?” or “Why was I not born with a bombshell body, an IQ higher than Einstein, and as an heiress?” It’s because you too were created uniquely, to fulfill your own beautiful mission that no one else can do. So maybe you currently don’t have the perfect storybook ending to your twenties, but there is hope; because you were created to write your own story which will unfold in time, and your chapter will be unique and perfect according to your gifts and talents.
So what is the secret to succeeding in your twenties? Easy peasy, it’s spending your whole life wishing you were someone else. Ok, not really. It’s embracing a mindset of gratitude and believing “gratitude changes everything.” It shifts our viewpoint from what we don’t have, to what we do have. It’s as if the world becomes beautiful, and our hearts become full because we are no longer focused on comparing our lives to others, but celebrating our lives with others. We no longer wake-up and jump on Social Media to start the comparison game. We no longer see how others are blessed, and forget about our own blessings. We no longer are focusing on what is missing in our twenties or others’ expectations for our twenties, because we have learned, that gratitude turns what we have into enough. If we do not take the time to learn about gratitude now, then later in life we will never have enough, be enough, or be satisfied with enough. Our twenties are the time to mold our thoughts towards grateful thinking. Amen?
They are the time to learn about radically living with a content heart, thankful for all we have been blessed with and excited for all the gifts to come. They are a time to embrace adventure, face our fears, and stretch ourselves because this is how we grow. And they are a time to remember we are succeeding and doing something great with our life, when we are living with a heart of thankfulness, fully living in the present, facing fears, and focused on our own uniqueness and beauty.
So do not worry, as others appear to find the perfect job, get a coveted scholarship, climb the corporate ladder faster, travel farther, dress nicer, secure that raise, become rich billionaires with private yachts and forget to invite you, or get married quicker and move into a house surrounded by that white picket fence because your unique story is unfolding this very moment. With this new framework of sight, your gaze turns toward the things you do have, and away from comparison. You realize you are enough, you have done enough and you are successful right where you are.
(The Secret To Succeeding In Your Thirties, article coming soon!)
Photo By: @leviclancy
Tags: Balance, wellness, whole-body living, age